My body was not interested in cooperating.
I became pregnant anyway.
We got our hopes up.
Our baby was due February 4th.
We had our hopes smashed.
Our baby died and we have had a miscarriage.
We were almost 11 weeks along.
It is sad.
We are recovering and surviving.
This is the short story. We will be sharing the long version of the story in multiple parts.
One of my personal goals for 2014 is to read a new book every couple of weeks. This is the second book I’ve read this year. The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, by Atul Gawande.
I read this because I first read Atul Gawande’s article The New Yorker, titled simply The Checklist. The article was surprisingly captivating, so when I found out that Gawande had expanded the article into a full book, I had to read it.
The Checklist Manifesto is subtitled “How to get things right,” which is a good summation of the book all by itself. It examines scenarios that are prone to human error, even when those humans are experts at the top of their fields, and how the simple use of a checklist can greatly reduce the error in those situations.
Drawing on examples from aviation, construction, medicine (the author is a surgeon “in real life”), investment banking, and other fields, Gawande shows how checklists have been used to eliminate error.
He describes being recruited by the World Health Organization (WHO) to come up with a plan to improve surgical outcomes worldwide. They decide to experiment with a checklist, asking surgeons in some hospitals to use a pre-surgery checklist in their operating rooms. After Dr. Gawande tries using the checklist himself in his own practice, he finds it cumbersome, confusing, and impractical. He takes a trip to Seattle, where he visits with Daniel Boorman, a Boeing technical fellow, who is responsible for the creation of checklists used by pilots flying Boeing’s airliners.
(Checklists as a tool for professional discipline were born from aviation, even from Boeing: In 1935, a pilot demonstrating Boeing’s newly designed bomber to the Army Air Corps crashed on takeoff, killing himself and two others. He crashed because he had forgotten to release a lock on the airplane’s elevator and rudder controls. The airplane was dismissed as “too much plane for one man to fly,” and the military nearly ended the project. Test pilots, however, thought the airplane was marvelous, and worked together to solve the “too much plane” problem. Their solution was to create a simple set of checklists: One for before takeoff, one for flight, one for approach, and one for landing. With checklists in hand, the test pilots then flew the airplane more than 1.8 Million miles without a single accident. The army ordered 13,000 airplanes, and dubbed it the B-17, now one of the most celebrated bombers in military aviation history.)
Boorman teaches Gawande some of the important things Boeing has learned about checklists: They should use natural breaks in the workflow. They should be relatively short (5-9 items). They should be printed in black & white in a sans-serif font….And more. Boorman then takes Gawande into a hyper-realistic flight simulator, helps him taxi the airplane to a runway and take off, all using the same checklists that pilots use. Then, as their flight ascends through 20,000 feet, a warning light comes on in the cockpit. Gawande’s airplane has a door that appears to not be latched properly. This situation can be deadly (In 1989, this exact situation led to an “explosive decompression” of a United Airlines 747, killing 9 passengers). Gawande, remembering his few minutes of pre-flight training, grabs an emergency procedures book, turns quickly to the checklist for the DOOR FWD CARGO warning light, and follows it. Their simulation flight is able to land safely.
(As an aside, I’m totally jealous that Gawande got to “fly” a full motion 777 simulator. I would LOVE to do that.)
Gawande takes his newfound understanding back to the WHO, where they redesign their surgical checklists following Boeing’s principles, and run a test in 8 hospitals around the world. The results are astounding. They achieve double-digit percentage reductions in complications, infections, and other scary surgical by-products, including death. By his calculations, during the three-month trial in 8 hospitals, the checklists prevented 27 unnecessary deaths.
In the end, Gawande describes an incident in his own operating room where, by his own description, he tore a patient’s vena cava (the largest vein in your body, which bring blood from most of your lower half to your heart). The bleeding was, in Dr. Gawande’s own words, “terrifying.” In seconds, he had opened the patient’s abdomen and chest completely, and was holding his heart in his hands, pumping blood through it while another doctor put pressure on the torn vein. The patient was losing blood a rate measurable in gallons.
One of the items on the surgeon’s pre-incision checklist is to discuss with the operating room team the possible blood loss in the operation. Then, the head nurse calls and confirms that the hospital’s blood bank has enough blood ready to use to cover the worst case scenario (the blood bank is supposed to do this already, without the nurse having to make the call). Gawande’s team had followed the checklist. When the nurse called the blood bank, it was discovered that the blood for this operation was not ready, so the operation was held up a few minutes while the blood bank prepared.
Now, Gawande has the patient’s heart in his hands, and can feel it emptying out like a deflating balloon, and in seconds, the blood from the blood bank is being transfused into the patient. The blood that wouldn’t have been ready to use if the team hadn’t followed its checklist.
By the time the vein is repaired and the patient’s heart is beating on its own again, 30 “units” of blood have been transfused (keep this in mind: an adult body holds about 10 units: This patient bled 3 times his own blood volume). The patient lived, and while there were some side effects of the incident, recovered. Dr. Gawande is 100% certain that without the checklist, the patient would have died on the operating table while they waited precious minutes for the blood bank.
It’s hard to imagine a subject duller than checklists. Yet Gawande is a good writer, and fills the book with powerful narratives. Whether recounting incredible medical recoveries, telling what happened in the cockpit of USAir 1493 as it crash-landed in the Hudson river, or describing the qualities of a well-written checklist, his writing is engaging.
As for the book’s subtitle “How to get things right,” we’re given a few insights into how to get things right in our own worlds, like the difference between simple, complicated, and complex tasks, and how checklists can (and can’t) help with each (For example, there will be no checklist for raising a child, but there can be one for making sure a child has good nutrition), but I would have liked a little more of the “how to” material.
Ultimately, I was surprised that I found The Checklist Manifesto hard to put down, and when I turned the last page, I wanted to read more.
Here’s the test: Go read The Checklist. If you enjoy it, you’ll like The Checklist Manifesto. I did.
One of my personal goals for 2014 is to read a new book every couple of weeks. I started the year off with Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit.
I first became interesting in this book after hearing two interviews with the author. The first from NPR, and the second from Ramit Sethi. I think psychology is interesting, even more if I can use an understanding of that psychology to help reach my goals, or help others reach theirs.
The Power of Habit is easy reading. It is largely anecdotal, sharing its message in narrative form. When the book tells of someone who acquired, broke, or changed a habit, it tells their story. When it talks of the psychology/neurology behind the habit, it tells the story of how the science was conducted and the conclusions discovered. When it speaks of powerful organizational and social change that can happen because of habits, it tells stories of companies, churches, and nations who have done exactly that. Some of the stories include:
In my opinion, the book started strong, and then lost momentum towards the end. I think, though, that it’s because the ideas of personal habit formation and change strike close to home for me – they are things I can do. I don’t run a large organization or have any major social cause to champion, so the sections on organizational and social habits were a little less interesting (though I did find Alcoa’s story, and Target’s, to be absolutely fascinating). The book concludes with an appendix that teaches an actionable system for habit change, and walks through how the author discovered, diagnosed, analyzed, and changed an afternoon snacking habit that was causing him to gain weight.
If you’re interested in psychology, behavior, and things like that, then YES, I would absolutely recommend it. Also, if you’re a parent, or you run an organization like a business or church, you and your family/organization could gain a lot from you reading this book.
The Power of Habit explores how habits work, how we can change them, and how we can use them to our advantage. If you want to change something about any aspect of your life, you should read it.
For Family Home Evening last night, we talked about Christmas and the birth of Jesus. We (mostly the three-year-old) made a nativity from a sticker kit that she had gotten in nursery at church. Here’s the result:
A few of my favorite points:
And last, but not least, according to the 3-year-old…
Merry Christmas!
Today is the national marching band championship in Indianapolis.
On this day, I’m especially grateful for all of the opportunities I’ve had to participate with marching bands and drum corps over the last 18 years, first as a performer, and then as a teacher.
I’m grateful to have been a member of the marching band at my high school, and for all that I learned from Dennis Smith, Todd Foster, and others.
I’m grateful to have been a member of the Colts Drum & Bugle Corps, where I learned not only about performance and music, but about success in life, thanks to Greg Orwoll and the rest of the Colts family.
I’m grateful to have been able to teach the front ensemble at my alma mater, and to work with Mr. Smith, Todd Foster, Michelle Sapadin and many others, and to have helped win the first percussion caption award in school history in 1999.
I’m grateful to have quite randomly ended up in Macomb, where I’ve been able to teach the front ensemble and then the full drumline of a great marching band for the last 11 years, with great competitive success. I’ve worked with great teachers like Mr. Wetmore, Mr. Zahnle, Mr. Howard, and Mr. Mattsey. I’ve had great help from former students like Leandro Pelayo, Xavier Zahnle, Allyson Ray, Michelle Kenny, Kelsey Drea, Dan Reem, and Chris Norton.
I’m grateful for all of the students I’ve had over the years, from the seniors at Red Mountain in 1998, to the freshmen at Macomb in 2013. I hope you learn as much from me as I do from you. You are all truly awesome.
Finally, I am grateful for all that I’ve learned and experienced through marching band and drum corps. I truly believe in the Colts mission statement, that “we use music and excellence to teach each other about success in life.” Any success I’ve achieved in life, I owe at least in part to my experience with marching band and drum corps. To all of my friends, teachers, students, and colleagues, I thank you.
…and here’s hoping for many more great years, great teachers, great students, and great friends.
Glad to be home safe tonight. Story time….
Went to Galesburg to do some shopping, and on the way home, a few miles from Monmouth, IL, we were discussing the safest way to pull to the side of the road, and the safest way to treat vehicles that were pulled over.
As we came around a corner, we saw a vehicle that was pulled over with hazards on. As appropriate, I signaled and pulled into the other lane.
And then, in a split second, we saw the reason that car was pulled over.
But it was too late. We hit the freshly dead deer carcass full on at 65 MPH. There was a very jarring THUMP, a fraction of a second of sideslip, and then the terrible sounds of a damaged exhaust system and who-knows-how-much body damage.
We pulled over right away, and after calming down (and making a few phone calls), called the highway patrol. An officer was already talking to the people who had originally hit the deer, and called in a tow truck. After taking care of them, the officer and tow truck driver came over to us and together we all took a good look at the damage. Front fender is destroyed, definitely a damaged exhaust system (the car now sounds like my old Honda when the muffler fell off), parts of the splash guard dragging on the ground, and A LOT of blood and deer guts on the underside of my car.
BUT, there were no leaking fluids, no damage to lights, no engine warning lights to indicate real engine damage, so the police officer and tow truck driver both agreed that we should go ahead and try to drive it home.
The tow truck driver was headed the same direction we were, so he said he would follow us for a few miles until his turn, so he could pick us up if anything more happened.
Long story short… we made it home with a functional, but noisy, car, which is going to need some TLC tomorrow.
Most importantly, of course, we are all fine. A little rattled, but nobody got hurt (except the deer), and we’re all home safe and sound.
one month old
still one month old
Mar©ia wanted to play in the snow, first thing I saw her doing was trying to drive her car.
Jacob showed her how to make a snow angel
she had fun making one herself
the went “sledding” in our back yard
she loves the snow
she made her first snowman
the next snow fall, she asked if she could help shovel
meanwhile, Hin©kley was inside warm and happy
then when I looked out the window, they were standing next to her second snowman
family shot after Hin©kley’s blessing
I like this one because Mar©ia was holding Hin©kley’s hand
happy little guy
this is a better shot of the outfit
Mar©ia really likes to play inside boxes these days
she was hiding “where’d me go?”
“SURPRISE!”
two months old
he has been working so hard to get his hand to his mouth
about half the time now it ends up in his eye, poor boy
happy guy
great smile
even when the picture turns out blurry
Copyright2012 has arrived (5 ½ weeks ago), and he’s a BOY!
Hinckley Elias Thurman was born at 5:56 p.m. on 20 November 2012. He was 8 lbs, 4 oz and 19 3/4 inches long.
He is named for Gordon B. Hinckley and for his Great-Grandfather, Lern Elias Prickett.
All went well with labor and delivery. If people are interested, perhaps I’ll tell our story, it’s not all that “exciting” of a story, but it is our story. We were discharged from the hospital on the 22nd (Due Date a.k.a. Thanksgiving Day). So, we had a pretty great Thanksgiving this year!
Now here are some of our favorite pictures since Hinckley came out:
family of 4
even Hin©kley stuck his tongue out
two hours old
Mar©ia wanted to participate in the bracelets picture
almost two
“Is he a doll?”
7:17am exactly two years old!
she asked for a white cake with color circles (sprinkles) and pink ice cream and to wear a shirt with hearts
we taught her how to climb in and out of the crib with a step-ladder while I recover from delivery
sleepy baby
happy baby
Hin©kley was crying, I tried everything to calm him, nursing, burping, cuddling, rocking, singing…nothing worked. Finally I placed his “Happy” on him, and immediately he grabbed onto it and was asleep in 3 seconds!
after church
she loves her tongue in pictures
“Are we ready?”
“Mommy thinks I am Handsome”
“We are ready!”
Merry Christmas!
“cheese!”
just chilling
sister and brother
For the first time in my life, I voted straight down the Democrat line. I voted Obama, I voted Waterworth, I voted Sullivan, and in Illinois State Representative District 93, where no Democrat was running, I did not vote for Republican Norine Hammond.
First, I want to make something clear: There are Republican Candidates that I like. I like Bobby Schilling’s attitude that congressmen shouldn’t get special treatment when it comes to pension plans. I like Randy Frese’s position on transparency and term limits.
The big elephant in the room, of course, is Mitt Romney. I like Mitt Romney. I don’t think he would be a terrible president. I think he’s an experienced and capable leader. I think he’s honest, if wavering, and of course I appreciate his faith (we do share a religious belief).
But in the end, my decision not to vote for these men comes down to their party affiliation, and here’s why:
First, the last few years have seen incredible Republican Obstructionism. Mitch McConell, the Senate Minority Leader, summed it up when he said “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” That’s just astounding! His single biggest priority is not keeping America safe from terrorists, or helping to revive a struggling economy, or improving American education to make our children more competitive in the world marketplace. No, his single priority is to shut down anything and everything that might make Obama look good.
And the Republicans have followed suit. They have refused to compromise. The have refused to negotiate. In fact, many economists and professional political pundits now blame the lackluster economic growth of the last few years not on poor policy from the executive branch, but on willful, intentional opposition to measures (including some that they supported until the President did also) that would help the economy by a Republican party whose top priority is simply to not let Obama have his way.
So, my conclusion is this: To vote for a Republican is to reward and encourage this tantrum-throwing behavior, and I refuse to do so.
Second, for some reason, the abortion issue has reared its head more than usual in this election season.
Now on this topic, first thing’s first: I believe that abortion for the sake of convenience is wrong. I believe it is immoral and frankly, a sin in the sight of God. However, I believe that in cases of rape, incest, or when continuing a pregnancy is likely to result in the death of the mother, abortion is an acceptable choice, with that decision to be made by the parent(s) in conjunction with medical professionals and according to their faith and conscience. This is why I think abortion should remain legal, despite the terrible consequences of its misuse.
But this isn’t about wanting abortion to be legal. It’s about what’s going on in the Republican party. When Todd Akin made his idiotic comments about “legitimate rape,” he became the recipient of considerable backlash from Republican officials. Here’s the problem: The backlash was all comments about how he made the party look bad. How such comments can cost Republicans votes. How he should drop out of the race. Where were the comments about how he was WRONG? The suggestions that he actually learn how the human reproductive system works?
Republican backlash against Todd Akin wasn’t about him being unfit to serve because he was an idiot, it was about how saying such things in public is politically unsound. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that most Republicans actually share his view, but are smart enough not to say it in public!
Beyond Todd Akin, there was another recent comment by Republican Richard Mourdock about pregnancy from rape being “something God intended.” I won’t repeat the same arguments as above, but I want to make my position abundantly clear:
If you oppose abortion in the case of rape, then you believe that a man who rapes a woman should have more power over that woman’s body than she does.
I have come to the conclusion that the Republican party as a whole has shown in the last few years that they are unfit to lead, unfit to legislate, and unfit to make appropriate choices for this country. Like a tantrum-throwing toddler, the entire Republican party needs to be sent to the corner to think about what they’ve done and learn to make smarter and more appropriate choices.
And that’s why I voted.
Disclaimer: While I do not want anyone to be offended by my use of this long word, “pickleciple” is my word to replace the swear words I will not allow myself to say in front of children. And should a certain individual find himself crossing my path again (okay there may be a second individual also) with no children present, he might get to discover just how many words this replaces. Also, I am apparently horrible with paragraph structuring!
Now that you all know my personal “swear word” I will get on with the story.
Today is the University homecoming game and this morning was the parade. The parade was scheduled to begin at 10:30 in the middle of town, and the parade route was probably no more than two miles long. We placed ourselves towards the end. My brother Ricky and his family live close to there, so he said we could park at his place and all walk together to the parade and get a spot. We found a spot next to a telephone pole about 10 till 10 and made sure we were not blocking anyone behind us since we had two strollers. We locked the tires and waited for the start. We were there over an hour before the starting cars arrived, and the kids were doing well. A few minutes, no more than 10, before the parade reached us, a few families arrived and crowded near. This would have been okay if there had been room, however, in the space where one adult and one child would fit (1 ½ -2 feet wide) if the kid was standing in front/sitting on the lap of the adult, they tried to cram in six adults and 5 kids. One woman, I will call her “Hedwiga” because it will be easier to give her a name to reference and it means “warfare”, tried to push and move my stroller over, and I made it clear that that was not going to happen, and she then proceeded to stand on the blanket of the people just on the other side of the “gap.” In hindsight, I probably should have not left any gap there, or I should have sat down next to the stroller, which was my original intention until she crowded her way in there…. Anydangways, it was her intent to force someone who came early to give up a good spot one way or another. And the blanket sitters (they will be known as the Blankets/Blanket family) had arrived even before we did, even more reason they should not have to move either! Well, I didn’t hear or see if the Blankets had said anything, but Hedwiga got off the blanket and proceeded to lean against my stroller again. So I reached and adjusted the handle on the stroller requiring her to stop leaning against it. She gave mee the stink-eye for that. Well, the lead cars came by and lots of kids appeared out of nowhere. Originally they were not right in front of us, until Hedwiga told her daughter to stand in front of us and then, the male henceforth known as “Wolfgang” and means “wolf quarrel”, sent his two daughters up to stand in front too. The girls put themselves right in front of the stroller where sat the not quite two-year-old. I said, “girls would you please not stand right in front of the little girl, she cannot see the parade.” I was ignored. Then a few minutes later the university band stops and performs there, and again/still the girls are right in front of the stroller. Fortunately there was a break where Munchkin could see a baton twirler dance, so she cheered and seemed okay, however the rest of the time we were there (we left early-I’ll get to that) because of the location of the only break in people in her way, all she could see was the backs of people in the parade as they walked by, or the butt of Hedwiga. I took a picture that shows her, yes the adult, standing in front of the stroller; I have decided not to post that picture on here. So, as the university band is trying to tell people to get out of the street so the band can march the parade, I again said, “please do not stand in front of the little kids, they cannot see the people in the parade.” No acknowledgement from those around us. There were a few floats that came by, Cute Monster didn’t get to see them, or get any candy from them…2 reasons 1-it is the end of the parade, so there is little to no candy left to toss (which is fine with mee because I don’t really want to take it home) 2-the bigger kids were blocking the way and took any candy that managed to make it to the end of the parade. I saw that the high school band was coming soon, and wanted Mar©ia to be able to see her dad since we actually knew where to tell him to look, so again I said, “girls she cannot see the parade, will you please not stand in front of her stroller?” This time the girls looked back to acknowledge they heard, but turned around and stayed put in front of us. So, I mentioned that that was the third time I had asked and I was really getting tired of people standing in front of people smaller than them. Hedwiga said that I should let her out of there so she can go up front, at this point the “front” is a third of the way into the street, clearly in the path of the parade floats and certainly in the way of bands or dancers or others walking in the parade. So, I did not bite my tongue and said, “maybe you should control your kids.” I perhaps could have bitten my tongue, but it really makes me mad when going to public events where kids are invited/encouraged to attend and there is a lack of common sense, especially when it is coming from adults. (Why on Earth would I want to let my almost two-year-old run loose at a parade? And what about not standing right in front of someone shorter than you when the event is a pick your own spot kind of a deal? And why would someone want to teach their kids to behave like that?) One of the women with Wolfgang, not sure if his wife or from the third couple, asked, “Did she just say that?” I turned around and said, “Yes, I did. We got her early and have waited a long time for the parade, and it really makes mee mad that people think it is okay to stand in front of little kids.” So, Wolfgang called his girls back and told them to sit on a blanket that he put down right behind our stroller, and that they had to sit there, where he promptly stood in front of them, with his son on his shoulders. I turned and told them all I was asking was that they not stand in front of the littler kids and they are just fine standing next to the stroller, just not in front of it. They wanted the girls to be martyrs and wouldn’t let them go down there. While I do indeed feel really bad for the girls having adults like that in their lives, I was glad that for the first time Munchkin got to see her dad in the parade! Sadly though, the camera was too slow and I didn’t see that it was not recording when I pushed the button. A few minutes after that Wolfgang taps mee on the shoulder and asked if my daughter could “see the parade now?”, I told him, “no, because people are standing in front of her again.” But he was not listening, he continued with “because I just want you to know that you have ruined this parade for them. Look!” I turned around to see one girl still sitting there with her face in her hands, which I admit made my heart ache, then when I noticed that he was standing in front of her still, I just became more angry. Who in the right mind tells their own child to sit where they cannot watch a parade? No one in their right mind would do that! It is one thing to try to bully an adult so you can get your way (not acceptable by any means) but the pickleciple head is a bully to his own child! So infuriating. At this point I am so mad that I can’t think of anything to say to the pickleciple that didn’t involve swearing in front of my child or any of the children nearby, so I stopped talking or responding to Wolfgang, who was not listening because he was more concerned with being “right.” That combined with the fact that Mar©ia can’t see any of the parade, I was fed up. I was done. So, I made sure she was buckled into the stroller, unlocked the tires and Turned around to tell him, “I’m leaving.” He responded, “Good, you don’t belong here anyway.” Again, I failed to bite my tongue and told him he was being a jerk. I guess I did bite my tongue because what I really wanted to call him was a pickleciple! I was so mad! And the pickleciple Wolfgang had better hope I never run into him without any children around, because he might just get to hear exactly what I would have liked to have said to him. And while I wanted to yell at him and tell him what a pickleciple he was being, what I did do was walk away crying. Because you know when you make a pregnant lady angry, those are the two options.
Rick and Ginny were there after we left, and as I walked away I just hoped that Wolfgang did not choose to then talk to them the way he was talking to mee. And I hoped that he would at least let his daughters get up and watch the parade. What a pickleciple bully!
On the other side of humanity there was a young man walking the same way we were headed and he said “Hi” to the Cute Monster and after she responded in kind, he told her how “gorgeous” she is. That restored a little bit of my hope for humanity.
Not all people are pickleciples, but it is experiences like today’s parade audience that remind mee why I avoid public places most of the time.