Category: Funny

Our story

Marcia decided that we are going to start keeping a family journal.  I think this is a great idea, except she keeps insisting that we can’t actually start it until I write my version of how we met and fell in love and got married. Every time I sit down to start writing that story (and while she won’t believe me, I have started many times), I realize that there needs to be even more back story, and I give up and scrap what I’ve written.

So tonight, I decided to take a different approach and instead of writing a novel, I started writing it in the style of a children’s book. Marcia rejected it for inclusion in the family journal, so here it is:

How we Met

One day in church there was a pretty girl named Marcia.  We skipped a church dance together and walked around outside.  I liked her.  We went back to her apartment and…

…

played cards.

Then I went on a mission.

Then she went on a mission.

Then I got back.

Then she got back.

Then we dated for like 5 years.

Then she moved away.

And I missed her.

So I asked her to marry me.

She said yes.

And we got married.

And I liked it.

THE END

I wouldn’t look for it in the Scholastic book catalog any time soon.

We took a little trip

Our trip took us to Indianapolis.  We* went to the IMA~.  We went to the zoo%.  We went to Super China Buffet^.


*We = Adam, Emily, Erin, Jacob, and Marcia

~Free, and really cool!

%This is the coolest zoo I have been to this year! A dolphin dive from underneath We got to pet sharks, and some of them loved us, and some of us loved some of them. Petting sharks at the zoo There were even dancing sharks. Dancing Shark

^Here is the buffet video.


Preschool Talkers

We all enjoy what the preschoolers say, and I get lots of things to write down.  Now I have a place to keep all of them, and be able to enjoy them.  They are now being kept safely at http://heardatpreschool.com/ where each day I will add another to the list.  Check it out.

Also jsut as a randomness, our spam filter just passed 13,579 last night.  All odd numbers.

13579

Preschool Brings Out My Creative Side

So, we were cutting and gluing and coloring and I made a new book.  The process was somewhat fun.  The children helped me know what pictures to cut out of magazines.  I glued them on the pages.  Then the story-line came. . . . Enjoy!

tth-page-1 tth-page2 tth-page-3 tth-page-4 tth-page-5 tth-page-6

I felt the need to add the “THE END” on the last page right above where it is written because it is hard to see.

Mistakes made by other people

Last week, we had two experiences where we derived benefit from the mistakes of others:

Story #1:

We were at one of our local department stores, buying pieces for a halloween costume.  We went as convicts, which was simple to do: scrubs with a number painted on, and some makeshift waist-chain handcuffs.  We found the scrubs, but the top didn’t have a price tag on it.  No big deal, we assumed it was the same price as all the other tops, which was $10 or so.

When we went to check out, the cashier rang up our things, and when he got to the scrub top, he started looking for the price tag, which was nowhere to be find.  He looked a bit perplexed and annoyed, and Marcia said “it must be free!” (This is something we often say when a price isn’t immediately apparent, and doesn’t usually get much response from cashiers, especially at this store that doesn’t like to give up a cent if they can avoid it.)

The cashier looked at Marcia, and then said in a rather pathetic I-have-a-cold-and-feel-like-crap voice, “And I’m gonna give it to you free too, because I’m sick and don’t want to be here.”  And then he put the scrub top in the bag without another thought.

Free scrubs! Score one for Marcia and the sick cashier.

Story #2:

Saturday night, we decided to order pizza.  We had a coupon: Buy an extra large specialty pizza at regular price, get a large one-topping free.  We thought that was a pretty good deal, so we called and ordered.  This particular pizza place has a specialty pizza that Marcia really loves.  To protect the innocent, we’ll call it the “spinach” pizza.  We ordered an extra large spinach pizza, and got a large pizza with tomatoes (yes, tomatoes are excellent for a one-topping pizza) free.

We went and picked up the order, and when we got home and opened the pizzas (ALWAYS check the order before you leave the store… I know better), we found that the spinach pizza had onions and mushrooms all over it – both things that Marcia doesn’t like on her pizza, and which I didn’t remember ordering.

I called back to the pizza place, and explained that I thought there was a mistake.  At first, the guy said “that’s what comes on the spinach pizza, which is what you ordered.”  Then he realized what had happened: There is also a “spinach DELUXE” pizza in their computer system, and he had printed a ticket for the deluxe, when we had only ordered the regular.  He asked if I wanted a regular spinach pizza instead, and I said yes.

I went to exchange the corrected pizza (they did offer to deliver it free, but it’s faster to just go pick it up), and when I took the original offending pizza in, they said I could keep that too, since all they would do is throw it away anyway.  While Marcia won’t eat the mushrooms and onions, I will, so free pizza for me!

So, TWO extra large pizzas and one large for the price of one extra large – that’s a pretty good deal.  Score two for me and the pizza guy with marginal reading comprehension skills.

Look Lady

Saturday when we went up on the train to Chicago, there was a little family sitting in front of us. On the way back, we happened to be sitting across the aisle from them. They were a family of 3 and in the next couple weeks they will be a family of 4. Brave woman traveling at 8.5 months pregnant. They are expecting a little girl. They have an almost 3 yr old girl. She seemed to think I am nice or something…. She was very well behaved and quiet on the ride up. On the way back she was a lot of fun. She started the return journey by sharing all the bad words she knows (at least I hope that is all she knows, and I am sure her parents hope so too). Her dad was laughing and her mom was appalled. She took to calling me “Lady” Here are some things she said (no, not the bad words):

~ Lady get out of Chicago ~ Lady where are you going? ~ Lady go to sleep ~ Mom did the Lady wake up? ~ Look Lady! (she just wanted to show me some toys she got while in Chicago, but it totally sounded like I was in trouble) ~ Lady you are bothering people ~

The last one was followed by me telling her- I can’t be bothering him I am married to him. (I was kneeling in my seat talking to Jacob and John-I am married to Jacob.)

Girl – gives me a funny look

Dad – Stop calling her Lady, I am sure she has a name, ask her what it is.

Girl – Lady what is your name?

Lady – Marcia

Girl – Marcia, can you come to my house?

Lady – Do you have toys for me?

Girl – Yes

Lady – I’m sorry, I don’t think I can go there, I don’t know where you live.

Mom – (in disbelief that her daughter is talking to a complete stranger -mostly, she did see us on the train earlier) She will probably tell you.

I think Gavyn and Aiden would have had a blast with this little girl!

While in Chicago we visited Millennium Park, I had never been there before.

Here we are in the Bean.

Here is our reflection in the Bean.

The green arrow points to us.

Preschool Talk

So, I have a few gems from today’s trip.  Then I have a few gems from the spring, when I was in a bad blogging funk and just had the quotes on slips of paper.  I have had them hiding on my desk waiting for me to get in the blogging mood again, and I recently found them.  So here it goes (today’s only, I will try to get the past ones with tomorrow’s quotes, I will be at the preschool again) :

I was on the floor playing puzzles with Girl M (2 y 11 m, and is often being told to “walk away” because we don’t hit our friends, take from our fiends, throw rocks/sand at our friends, push our friends, but she is super smart and very energetic, so I was happy to give her one-on-one positive time), when Girl A (3 y 9.5 m) walked through, who also is often told to “walk away” for being bossy and not listening.

Girl A:  Excuse me M.

Me:  That was very nice of you A.

Girl M: Excuse me, too! (with that tone of “please compliment me too!”)

During free play Girl J (3 y) and Girl EM (3 y 6 m) made it a point to come up to me:  Me and EM are going to the store to buy dishes for the party.

Me:  Sounds fun. (But I don’t know if that was my invitation, or if they wanted to make sure I knew there was a party I was not invited to…. Knowing them, I think it was my invitation.)

Boy M (3 y 5 m) came running past us then:  The bus is here!  Choo! Choo!

Morning meeting:

A couple weeks ago Mr S was telling the kids about the ants in his yard moving to another part of the yard, and how there were ants carrying eggs.  Today Mr S was having them answer questions or do research on the list of questions they had come up with.  One of the questions was about if insects take care of their babies.  Some of the kids remembered Mr S’s ants

Boy A (4 y 6 m):  We should take a trip to your house and see the baby ants.

Mr S:  We don’t need to go to my house, we have ants here on the playground.

Outside in the sandbox:

Boy MM (3 y 5 m) and his baby sister  Baby E (1 y 2 m) were playing quietly in separate corners of the sand box (this boy is also very often told to “walk away” for many of the same reasons Girl M is told to).  MM walked up to Baby E and kissed her on the forehead, and then just looked at her and talked to her for a few min.  It was heart warming.

Then Girl M:  Where is my mom and dad?

Me:  At work?

Girl M:  My mommy plays in the garden

Me:  What does she do in the garden?

Girl M:  I don’t know

At the of nap time I was holding Baby J (6 m) and Girl T (4 y 7 m) wanted to talk to the baby

Girl T:  I am going to spell my name for you, * * * * * *. (Then she proceeded to tell her about the good places to visit when she is older.)  Something something something, Myrtle Beach.  My family went there when I was 2, almost 3.  

Me:  (I know  she wasn’t talking to me, but I asked her a question anyhow)  Did you like Myrtle Beach?

Girl T:  Yes, it was fun.  We played on the Beach until I got a bad sun burn.  Ouch!

After the kids all woke up Girl T and Girl EH (5 y 1 m) were cutting pieces of paper asking everyone if we wanted tickets.

EH:  Do you want a ticket?

T:   Get your free tickets here

Me: Are  they traffic tickets?

T:  No, they are train tickets

Miss A:  Oh, I can’t  ride the train I get sick

T:  Do you want a ticket to go on the log ride?

Miss A:  Is there water?

T:  No, it just feels like a log

Five Fewer Fish

I wasn’t working per se, but I did go in to the preschool.  I donated 5 fish, 2 Yellows and 3 Hammers, very pregnant Hammers.  So now I have about 42 fish in the tank still.  I went over to take the fish, and to take more “class photos.”  The kids are cute, but very active and some absolutely refuse to smile for the camera.  Some say “cheese” and this is what the mouth ends up doing.

   

Now, I am sure they think they are smiling, but that is not the shot Mommy and Daddy will want to use to order prints for the grandparents.   We need to come up with a better word to use to make kids smile for pictures.  Any suggestions?

It is an absolutely great feeling when a person (young or old) tells me they won’t smile, and they eventually do, or I am able to catch them off guard and make them smile for me.  In the end, I was able to get natural smiles out of these three, but I had to work for it.

Jacob Does Not Have A Tutu

Yesterday and today I found myself working at the preschool.  Lots of fun.  Here are some of the conversations:

I was asking some of the kids yesterday about how the weekend went for them.  A number of them talked about the ballon rally (an annual event in our town-pictures at the end as seen from the train station).

Boy M (3 years 5 months):  I had a mommy weekend and a daddy weekend

Me:  That sounds exhausting (not really sure what he ment by that)

Boy M:  Yeah… *sigh* it was.

Same Boy M and Girl L (4 years 1 month) were running around the room in the morning talking about how they were going to get married.  They came up to me and told me how excited they were to be getting married, I cogratulated them, and off they ran to Girl E (4 years 8 months-dressed as Cinderella) who promptly married them.  Right after they got married they came to me:

Girl L:  We just got married

Me:  Congratulations!  Are you excited?

Girl L: YES!

Boy M:  I love you!

Girl L:  I love you.

Boy M:  Now we can have a baby!

Me:  What are you going to do now?

Girl L:  We’re going to go out to get icecream!

At morning meeting Mr S was telling abouthow he saw some ants move from one side of his yard to the other side.  He had pictures and the kids were brainstorming why the ants may have moved. (This point in the school year they are talking bugs, insects and spiders.) Girl T (4 years 7 months) suggested that they moved “because they have legs.” Valid.  Then the teachers asked how many of them have moved ever, and how did they move their stuff, and why.  Boy A (4 years 6 months) said they moved “because we couldn’t afford the yucky house anymore.”

Today at the very start of the day some of the kids were playing in the sandbox-table-thing.  Girl T, same as above, was whining that other kids were playing too, and that she needed all the sand.  She used her whiny voice the whole conversation.

Me:  T did you get much sleep last night?

Girl T:   No, I didn’t!

Me:  Why not?

Girl T:  I was too excited for school.

I then explained to her why she needs to get good sleep at night before she comes to school so she can play nicely with her friends and share.  I noticed that a light bulb seemed to go off in her head, and she made effort to be nicer, but she was just cranky.  I asked what her mom says about sharing, her reply was, “that I need to be nice and not loud at nap time.”

While getting ready for morning meeting, Girl T came up to me holding out her hand in a fist…

Girl T:  I hurt my hand

Me: Well then, appologize to your hand.

Girl T: (leaning in to her hand) I’m sorry.

Me:  Give it a kiss

Girl T:  she kisses it and sits down like that made it all better

After Nap time ended I was playing counting games with Girl A (3 years 4 months):

Me:  1

Girl A:  Chinese

Me:  2

Girl A:  Chinese

Me:  3

Girl A:  Chinese

Me:  In English, I don’t know Chinese.

Girl A:  (rolls her eyes)  one, two, three

Shortly after that, I was helping Boy M (from above) tie his shoes:

Boy M:  (lifts his pant leg)  look I have my pajamas on under my clothes

Me:  Is that so you can be warm, or so you don’t have to change clothes as much?

Boy M:  Yes.  Do you have pajamas on? (lifts up my pant leg, and dissapointed by not seening them)

Me:  No, but my pajamas have monkey’s on them.

Boy C (4 years 2 months):  Are you going to wear them on pajama day?

Me:  If I am here on Pajama Day, I will wear them.

Boy C:  Cool!  My Thomas (the Train)  shirt has words that glow in the dark.

Boy L (4 years 4 months):  My bed has Thomas on it.

Me:  My bed has stripes.  Blue and white stripes.

Boy C:  Cool, do the stripes glow in the dark?

Me: No, but I can ask my husband if he wants me to make them glow in the dark.

Boy C:  You have a HUSBAND? (very excited voice)

Me:  Yes

Boy C:  Did you marry one?

Me:  I married him and he became my husband.

Then the afternoon snack with the newlywedds from yesterday morning…

Girl L:  I’m gonna marry my boyfriend

Boy M:  I have a girlfriend

Me:  I thought you two got married yesterday

Girl L:  We did

Boy M:  pokes her arm, softly

Girl L:  DON’T touch ME

Mr S:  They ARE married, aren’t they?

A few minutes later Girl L declares that when she is grown up she wants to be a CHEERLEADER….

Me:  What an embarassing life’s ambition (not said to her, just another adult)

 

Long Time Over Due Post

On Thursday (now a week ago) I went up to Ronda’s to watch the big girls so Ronda and G1 could get their eyes checked. We had fun. I have pictures somewhere of that. I am not sure if they are still on the camera or on the computer, but I am too lazy to find them at the moment. While I was up, We had some fun conversations with G1.

Conversation 1:

We were dropping Matt’s supper off to him at the rail yard
G1 unbuckled his seatbelt as Ronda started the car to leave
Marcia: buckle that
Ronda stopped the car for him to buckle up
G1: I’ll buckle it at home
Marcia: you’ll buckle it now
He did.

Conversation 2:

Immediately following the 1st conversation
G1: I want to see trains
Ronda: There are trains all around us look out the windows
G1: I don’t see trains
Marcia: (pointing at the engine next to us) What is that?
G1: Not trains
A few seconds lapse.
G1: (points to a long train out the other window) That’s not a train…. It’s cars

Conversation 3:

(Ronda was holding change for a reason I can not remember at this time, we were parked in the car)
G1: I want a quarter
Ronda: I’ll give you a penny
G1: A nickel
Ronda: I’ll give you a penny
G1: A nickel
Ronda: I don’t have a nickel, I’ll give you a penny
G1: Marcia has a nickel
Marcia: Actually I do not have a nickel today
Ronda: Want a dime?
G1: Nnnnnnnnyes, a nickel
Ronda: It is not a negotiation
G1: It a nenanenatin (more or less sounded like that)

Conversation 4:

Not quite sure what started this one….
Marcia: G1 you crack me up
G1: I did not wake you up
Marcia: No, you did not wake me up
G1: I make you happy
Marcia: Yes you do
(This is where I get teary)

And now for a video that I was supposed to post almost 2 months ago of G2 and G3 climbing back and forth in the two cribs when Ronda was in the hospital to have G4.

WARNING the video is 4 and a half minutes long.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFyX-udTaQg[/youtube]

The funniest part of the whole flopping back and forth thing is that in the morning G2 went back to her crib before getting my attention, and stood there looking pathetic trying to get me to believe that she was “stuck” in her crib!

 

*Yes this is the same post I put on the GMF site.